Our New Normal

Baby boy is 3 months old. I cannot believe it. Actually, I can. I really can.

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Those first few days seem like a lifetime ago and getting to see Myles really grow into his own personality every day is something that I will never forget, at least I hope I never forget. That’s probably why I’ve taken at least 20 pictures and countless videos every single day. So I don’t forget what he was like on that given day and also so I can have proof he wore every single outfit that we have received (dude, we have so many!).  I realize though that the really important things and the moments that are even more special, are the ones where I put the camera down. Those eyes locked on mommy, the smiles and coos you can never replicate or catch on camera.  The middle of the night or middle of the day snuggles when he just needs to be held and reminded how much I love him.  I know these moments are fleeting. I know before long he will be running away and gaining his independence and that’s perfectly fine, in fact it’s what I want for him. But for now little one, we shall share our morning giggles, our afternoon talks, & our evening dancing sessions; and I hope you will forever know how loved you are.

We went on our first long trip in October and he did amazing in the car! His sleep schedule and eating schedule worked out pretty perfectly on the way up to Kansas. The way home was a little different story. We hit some pretty terrible traffic in Dallas (go figure) which took us I swear an extra hour just to get through it and happened right when little mister woke up starving! I’m sure it was a sight to see me contorting my body enough to hold a bottle in his mouth from the front passenger seat to directly behind me! Also pumping in the car was super fun too. What a blessing that travel pump was though (Thanks Tamara!).  Myles met so many friends and family and we were sad that we missed some people but there will always be next time. We are so thankful for the team we have to support us as we are learning how to be parents and really blessed for family & friends that takes us in at a moments notice. I sadly didn’t capture everyone’s picture on our trip but we’ve got a few years to change that.

 

Myles had his first trip to my beloved farm. The day actually turned out to be really pretty after a weekend of wet and coldness. We got to grab a pumpkin and some great veggies from my mom & aunts garden they planted this year and take a few pictures we will forever cherish.  I know he has no idea what he is looking at or any idea of where he is; but someday I just know that place will hold a special place in his heart just as it does in mine. I can’t wait for him to go for a ride on a John Deere with his uncle or to play in the haystacks with his cousins. I hope he is ready to make some memories even if we won’t get to visit as often as my family did when we were little.

 

A facebook friend of mine posted an article a month or so back about raising children without family nearby.  I found it sort of strange that this particular person posted it when their family is only 90 minutes away but everyone’s idea of near I suppose is different. That article hit pretty close to home for me however. Adam & I were both blessed with family in the same city or within a couple hours drive. Our grandparents were there for our birthdays, middle of the week soccer or basketball games and graduations. I know Myles’ grandparents will drive or fly to be there for every birthday and big event in his life of course but it’s also the little events that I worry about. The random Friday night card game, the Sunday dinners or the Labor day barbeque won’t be as easy to get to.  Those are some of my favorite times of my childhood, getting to be with my cousins. His closest cousin is a 16 hour drive away. I know my sister has battled this feeling for 11 years and she is my inspiration and reassurance knowing how much our children, while being miles away (countries in her case), can still have a close relationship with grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins.  Technology isn’t all bad! God bless video chat!

I have grown a buttload the past 3 months, probably more than our little boy. I have overcome an early battle of baby blues, feeling like a total failure, sleepless nights and days (because seriously what mom really has time to nap!), the puzzle that is a baby wrap, venturing outside with a baby, the awkwardness of carrying a carseat with a child in it and my first night away from him.  My days are getting easier. I still feel like there are not enough hours but I’ve stopped trying to do it all. I’m still learning to ask my husband for assistance but have gotten better at letting him step in more. I realize I can’t complain if I’m not making my needs heard but I’m still really bad at speaking up and have this little bit of me that just thinks I can do it all. What a silly thing to think! Myles on the other hand is starting to get the hang of bedtime, seems to really just like chilling out during bath time, is getting really good at his goos & gahs; I love you  is my favorite conversation topic and yes I truly believe he is saying it back! He loves hearing Spanish, singing & dancing to the Beatles, clapping hands & learning all about his body parts. He can hold his head up really well and I think we will be rolling really, really soon. I’ve never loved my life more and am looking forward to seeing you grow even more in the next 3 months little one!

 

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